The Attraction Was Immediate
The attraction was immediate. Her profile said that she was a college cheerleader. I like that kind. So perky, so desired. In high school, a cheerleader a year younger than I had called me a "dork" one Saturday when I wouldn’t wash my car in their fundraising car wash. She did it behind my back, which made it worse; it was like I wasn’t even cool enough to know I was a "dork." I writhed over that insult for semesters telling my friends I was all the time signing that "bitch" up for hundreds of magazine subscriptions. I even would publicly put friends’ subscription cards in my pocket. But I never did it.
So back to this cheerleader. When I first saw her she was the only female in the room. It was an "adult" chat room, so anyone with an even slightly female was subject to a barrage of filthy private messages.
A side note: when the kids of today grow up they’ll at least know what their kids are in store for. In January of 2000 it’s like we live in total denial of the absolute filth that so close to the surface. I believe it would be impossible to sit in a chat room for 1 minute with any screen name with "girl" or even "female," and not receive this exact message: "Suck my dick." And the worst part is that this person only sent that message because he thought it might get him somewhere. This was his best attempt at sparking up a conversation.
I didn’t see this cheerleader online again for about a week. With an hour to kill on a Monday evening I searched her name and then jumped into the room she was in. Suddenly before I could even ask her to suck my... just kidding...before I could even talk to her I was surrounded by a female fan.
This 14-year-old girl from northern Canada had been stalking me for weeks. She was in love with the actor that I borrow my screen name from and was forcing to answer questions about my favorite color. I had long since used the ignore feature of the site to block her messages. But she was still following me. She kept asking people in the rooms I was in to ask me why I hated her. It was so hellish. I felt like I had stepped on something that I could not get off. Of course, this is what lead to my lucky break.
I received a private message from the cheerleader. She wanted to know why I hated that little girl.
She’s 14, I wrote.
She sent back a popular message requesting more information. It read:?.
I am an adult what am I going to talk about with a 14-year-old girl, I wrote back.
I was afraid she was going to ask me why I had chosen my name if I didn’t want 14 year old girls bothering me. I don’t have a great answer except that I thought the screen name Leonard_DiCaprio was pretty funny.
Instead she appeared to be upset by the nuisance the 14-year-old had already made of herself. This girl said she was 14 and online you can say she could say that she is any age, gender and religion. She choose 14 because this girl could pass for nothing more and maybe less. The cheerleader wrote:
why is this girl bothering me? she just accused me of flirting with you.
She’s insane and she’s 14, I wrote.
And suddenly it was like we were old friends, this cheerleader and me. We chatted for a few hours. The next day we chatted a little more. The banter was almost entirely sexual. I can’t see chatting with anyone online whom I didn’t know about anything else unless maybe I had a hobby or a passion for professional football or wrestling.
The next night her first message to me was beyond provocative. It read: have you ever had a threesome?
Of course I hadn’t but she had and she was a detail-oriented storyteller. Half way through the story I became very upset and wrote, are you really a girl?
yes, why?
I cant belivee this ,no girl would talk like this.
I am, she wrote.
Then there was a pause then another message from her: I will call u.
Five minutes later we were on the phone. Her voice was calm and she told three separate threesome experiences. Each one was like currency that I had to bargain for with sweet talk.
Then I had to go and she went to bed. She lives three hours ahead of me.
During the next time we chatted online she started to go into detail about the boyfriend that had introduced her to threesomes. His name was Matt. He had just dumped her because she would neither marry him nor have his baby. He had just left her house and she told me that he had made her cry.
He said sum things that really hurt, she wrote.
Her messages became quick and fragmented like I needed a lot of back story in a hurry. She told me that she wanted to be a lawyer. She also said that she had been raised in Army bases all over the world.
Wow! I wrote. A well-traveled cheerleader/lawyer. My dream come true.
She then returned to a refrain that was very common during our pre-phone call conversations. U only want to talk to me becuz I’m a cheerleader, she wrote.
Of course I assured her that that was false. It was an initial attraction but how do I even know you are a cheerleader, I wrote.
OK, she responded. There is sumthing I couldn’t tell Matt.
What?
I can’t have a baby.
I shook my head and felt the urge to look around me. It was so odd that this fact was compelling to me. Our relationship was based entirely upon sex chat and now... Now I couldn’t tell what I was thinking.
You’ve got to tell him, I wrote back eventually. You’ve got to. He’s goingh to go on hurting u if you don’t.
I can’t.
If you don’t you are just leading him on.
I know.
She needed to tell him. That is all I knew. We wrapped up the conversation and I turned my computer off.
I didn’t talk to her for a few days. When I saw her next she did not talk about Matt. Instead she was insistent about me planning a visit to see her in the near future. She also introduced me to the female who was her partner in her threesome adventures. Her best friend, Carol, was also a cheerleader. Apparently Carol was planning another adventure for the both of them with one guy from the football team. My cheerleader friend would make this guy dinner, feed him a few drinks and suddenly Carol would appear and the good times would roll.
I really could not believe this scenario. While I was living in reality I some how networked with a fantasy world.
What would Matt think about this? I wrote.
He’s the one who got me into this, she wrote. The first was my 21st birthday present.
What?
I’m so glad he did.
Now I was as disturbed as I was intrigued. Boundary problems, I diagnosed. I meet a fantasy girl and she must be like this because of severe emotional issues.
Don’t worry about it. I will tell you everything about it, she wrote.
She disappeared for a few days. When I saw her again she asked to call me and I agreed. She went on to explain her adventure. It had almost turned out awful. Carol had set video cameras all over the house and almost ruined the whole thing by inviting Matt. But it turned out awesome, she told me. The four of them engaged in their debauchery for two full days with the high point being when she was tied-up for a few hours. It was so amazing, she wrote.
She had also told Matt the truth about not being able to have a baby, which made her feel better.
The only bad part was that Carol and Matt had gone off on their own, which unsettled my cheerleader. That’s just too close, she wrote.
So everything else was good? I asked.
Awesome, she responded.
Christmas time was approaching and my cheerleader was heading to her parent’s home a few hours away. She would be there for about a month but she had a computer there so we could stay in touch. But after she left I didn’t hear from her for a week. I was sure I would never hear from her again. I thought that she had tired of the fantasy and me. She would go back to being the real person. A person that was surely a thousand miles away from this threesome- having cheerleader of my dreams.
When I saw her again, the news was very disturbing. She had been in a horrible car accident, she said. She was at her parents house recovering. Apparently she was driving home from a final exam that she was sure she had failed and hit a car making a left turn straight on. We talked for a while and got away from the accident and back to sex.
The doctor told her that she couldn’t have sex for 6 weeks but she was still horny.
I forgot myself and asked, Would you send me a picture?
She logged off immediately. Later that night I realized that she- if everything she said about the accident were true- could have damaged her looks. She was probably crying right now because of her tragic freakdom.
I didn’t see her for another few days but on Christmas eve we talked and she seemed fine but a little upset. Matt’s coming tomorrow, she wrote. And Carol is getting married to her ex-boyfriend.
Chaos just surrounds this girl, I thought. Carol her videotaping-multiple-partner having best friend is supposed to be getting married. This is an unlikely, almost unbelievable story turn so I just left it alone. Instead we talked about Matt and why he was joining her family for Christmas.
My parents love him, my cheerleader wrote. His dad is my dad’s best friend.
Ok. More boundary problems I thought.
Over the next week we didn’t talk much. After new years I suddenly got a message that Carol was in town and not getting married. Matt, Carol and her were going out with Matt’s brother and a few friends.
Of course that evening ended with an orgy in a local hotel. She wrote to about me this as she described Matt and Carol having sex in the bed next to her.
Guess what? she wrote. They both just fell asleep.
Oh.
But Carol didn’t make Matt wear a condom. She always does. That’s weird. She could get pregnant.
The next time we talked was the last. I needed to end it. I knew I needed to ignore her and move on with my life.
Guess what? she wrote. Carol and Matt are going out. I bet they marry within a year.
Another bad ending, I wrote.
What? she responded.
I ignored her and began to search for another female chat partner, someone who lived nearby.